Much love, Shaudeh Farjami

Dear college freshman,

I know you’re ready for your first semester of school to be over with. Embrace the next few weeks of chaos. While the study days and exam periods are long and tireless, the nights are short. Laugh as long as you can, go get frozen yogurt with your roommate at night. Take plenty of pictures. Before you know it, you’ll be a college senior getting ready to move out for the final time.

It feels like just yesterday my parents dropped me off at my dorm room. My mom confirming I had every possible gadget and utility for any unforeseen situation that may arise. My dad sitting on my dorm room couch as long as possible to delay the goodbye. Four short years later, I’ve found myself as the one dreading that goodbye to friends who have evolved to family.

After four years, I’ve put on a a few more pounds. My spirit is a little less lively than my giddy freshman self. I switched majors, changed hair colors. However, I leave this journey with vital memories that I will carry for the rest of my life. Part of me is excited to be done with the busy work assignments and the drama of finding a Vegas date. But the other half of me is heartbroken leaving a place to finally became home. There’s no “see you next semester”. The next is just adulthood and the rest of our lives ahead. I am hanging off the threshold of eager and anxious.

Trial and error, lived and learned— my college experience in a nutshell. Here’s my two cents and some extra change.

My best advice to a new college student, struggling to find their place in the social sphere of their university is following through on coffee plans. What does that even mean? I met some of my best friends this way. How many times have you told someone, “We should grab lunch!” or “What’s your number, let’s do something soon.” Or the infamous, “Let’s get coffee this week!” and neither of you follow through? Just empty plans. When you’re the new girl trying to find your place in a college campus, you better follow through. I always went on the coffee date. I always went on the study date. I always went on the brunch outing. This is the best advice I could ever give an incoming college student. It’s crazy how I went from knowing nobody to being the senior who no one likes the walk with on campus because I will stop and say hi to every single person who passes by. Take advantage of every opportunity to meet someone new. The girl you meet at a fraternity rush event in downtown Los Angeles might become your ride or die.

Start exploring your college town early. I am graduating college with a half completed bucket list with my roommates. I wish someone told me to start venturing in Los Angeles sooner. This doesn’t mean a grand outing. It can be a study day to a coffee shop, a list of the top 5 breakfast burritos in the city that you periodically catch up with, or a hiking trail. You chose to move out of your hometown for a reason, find all the knacks and crevices that it has to offer.

The opportunities in your academic institution are what you make them. Sign up for clubs, get involved. Take advantage of the resources and the amenities of your college campus. It is up to you and only you to maximize your time while completing your degree. It is not lame to go to a club meeting or join an academic society. You are young. You have the time, you have the energy. College is an investment, so you better leave with more skills and exposure to the field than you came in with. It took me time to build the courage to sign up for clubs and find organizations that I connected with. Get out there!

You will get homesick no matter how far away from home you are. Whether you’re a two hour drive away or a flight across the country, you will miss your childhood bedroom and your mom’s home cooked meals. As cliche as it sounds, you will be okay. Yes, there are times where going home might be the only medicine to remedy your broken heart. Other times, remembering to stay in the present and soaking up the limited time you have with your college friends will serve you just as well. Every weekend away is a weekend you miss out on memories in your college town.

Roommates. There’s no secret recipe or code to crack. My freshman year, my roommate was too good to be true. An immediate click. Family vacations, spending all of Christmas break together, eating every meal together… it was the college roommate relationship that every girl aspires to achieve. When I transferred to my dream school a year later, I truly realized how rare and special our friendship was.

The second time around was not quite as lucky. My best advice is to give yourself time. When you start college or transfer, you are not going to fall in love with the school or wrap your head the social standards right away. The first semester is trial and error. It will not be sunshine and rainbows for everyone, and that’s okay. It’s not supposed to be easy.

My second semester at USC made it all worth it. Even though it’s not possible to replicate the dream college roommate relationship I started with, my second semester at my new school was the beginning of an incredible journey. Once I found my people, I held them close. I am so lucky to be ending college with such a remarkable circle of friends. My time at USC was not nearly long enough. What I would give for just one more semester with these incredible friends I’ve made. I’ve finally found my place is this melting pot of a university and commencement is a week away.

Each individual carries a story. I have always been a people person, eager to meet every person that crosses my path no matter their race, religion, background, or interest. I challenge you to meet as many people as you can. It is never too late to grow your circle, you can never have enough connections and friends. You never know how much it might mean to someone just to grab a morning coffee or study for an hour after lecture. For me, that would’ve meant the whole world.

My last piece of advice is that even the most social, productive, and remarkable person undergoes the same emotions that you do. Everyone gets discouraged. Everyone feels lonely. Everyone feels excluded. Everyone feels defeated. Everyone feels rejected. Your feelings are valid and you are never alone in your thoughts. Even when social media makes it seem like everyone else’s life is so perfect, it’s a complete facade. The formals, the parties, the vacations, the internships… we only show the good parts. Keep that in mind and never be afraid to tell your friends how you feel. College is not supposed to be easy. Nonetheless, you will leave as the best and most transformed version of yourself. It will work out, keep your eyes and your mind open.

I say goodbye to my university full of love and gratitude for every relationship I fostered through the campus. I found love, I found friendship, I found inspiration.

Much love,

Shaudeh Farjami