Much love, Shaudeh Farjami

Burnout (phrasal verb of ‘burn’): A state of complete mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion; to ruin one’s health or become completely exhausted through overwork. 

Holiday burnout is difficult to avoid when your brain is racing a half marathon every minute. Work deadlines, internship due dates, final exams— the list of commitments is endless. Focus on what is at arms reach, the variables in your direct control. Once you come to terms with the fact that you cannot control everything and everyone, your life is bound to simplify. I am a victim to this mousetrap. I have to constantly be reminded that there is only so much I can control and influence. What can I take action on to make myself feel better? I can start studying in advance, I can draft notecards for my presentation, I can tidy my room, I can cook a healthy meal. Being mindful and conscious of the factors you cannot control will allow you to surface the useless thoughts that cause nothing but stress. Worrying about factors you cannot change is natural. True strength lies in the capacity to drop these thoughts.

This is your final reminder. Start studying before it is too late. The motivation is the golden feeling: walking into the final on cloud 9 and out like a champion. Prepare yourself mentally and physically; both prepared and well-rested. It can be easy for holiday parties, friendsmas gatherings, and social events to stack up, leaving no time for yourself. No self care time, you are not well rested, and no longer prioritizing your healthy habits you spent all year building. It is great to be busy, productive, and have a lively social life. However, it is also okay to say no to plans. If you struggle with a severe diagnosis of FOMO like myself, tend to be a “yes-man”, or always say yes so that you do not disappoint friends, this is your reminder that it is socially acceptable to say no. Your friends will understand that you cannot make everything happen. Make sure you are taking care of yourself, no matter how much you want to make everyone happy and say yes to every plan. 

I read a saying recently that changed my mindset on making plans. “If it’s not an immediate hell yes, it’s a no.” Sometimes I have no energy to go, but do not want to be the one to cancel plans. My body would benefit more from staying in to recharge than draining my energy, even if that means missing out on a memory. Nonetheless, it is much worse to cancel so close to plans after handing out a “maybe”. That’s where the saying comes in: “if it’s not an immediate heel yes, it’s a no.” The best response from the getgo is “I would love to, however I am so burnt out.” You said you would love to, so you will not hurt your friends feelings and they have time to make other plans instead of waiting on you. So simple. 

It is so important to show up for yourself during the holidays, especially when you do not feel like it. A solid, strong workout is always rewarding— but is even more powerful when you push yourself to go to the gym when it is easier to rot in bed. It is the ultimate confidence booster and makes you the strongest person on the planet. Even if you are stressed and the workload is piling up, the show must go on. The last thing I want to do when I am anxious about grades, have yet to buy holiday presents, put two essays on the back burner, and on the verge of tears is follow my healthy habits. That is, until I remember that these healthy habits are going to make me feel good. The ultimate purpose of these habits are to fall back on them to save ourselves from complete burnout. When I want to rot in bed and spend my Friday night watching Dancing With The Stars with my barefoot dreams blanket and Voluspa candle lit, I have to remember it is okay to say no to plans and adapt to my healthy habits so that I can recharge. When you find yourself too stressed to do anything about the draining spiral and procrastinate priorities even more, build the extra will power to get your lazy self out of the covers and keep the show running. This is when it matters most. Do not let your wellness habits run down the drain. The whole point is to turn to the habits when you are tired— the morning moment, the recipes, the skincare, the hot girl walk, the cleanliness. That is what is going to get you through the holiday season. This is why you worked so hard to find the habits and moments that bring your joy. 

There are three types of burnout to focus on, each with their own solution.

1. If you are downright exhausted, “eepy” to the core, so no to your Friday night plans and spend a calm evening at home. Instead of crawling in bed and scrolling for two hours, have the discipline to at least do a few healthy habits to make yourself feel better. It is okay to skip the gym, but consider throwing in a load of laundry, cleaning the dishes, and hanging up your clothes before lounging in bed. Not all healthy habits are taxing on your energy. Save the cardio for when you get a full REM cycle. There are peaceful moments that can recharge your battery. Even though your for you page might bring you instant gratification, a clean load of laundry before scrolling will bring long term gratification.
2. If your burnout is a product of stress, strut that hot girl walk. A certain someone taught me a two breath breathing trick to slow my heart rate down and clear my mind. Take 1 deep breath in, and instead of releasing, pull in a second breath. Then let it all out. This is a great secondary option for box breathing. 
3. To tackle physical stress in your body, get in a solid workout. Hit the gym or take a new high intensity workout class. I whole-hearteedly recommend orange theory— your first class is free! If that is not your vibe, take a hot shower and a calming bath. Listen to your body. Maybe you need the exact opposite and would benefit from putting on a cute workout set and doing a pilates video at home. One hour or thirty minutes of physical activity is not the end of the world. 

Build some time in your schedule to do some self-care, just like you would schedule a meeting or an appointment. The essays, the plans, the emails, and the studying can wait. If you are drained to the ground, you will not retain any of the study sessions and you will not do your work productively or properly. I understand that some commitments are urgent, but there are always some items that can wait. Take time for yourself, even if that means you have to delay a task on your list so that you can enjoy your holiday gatherings or Christmas festivities. This is the best way to avoid the ultimate burnout. If you keep pushing until complete burnout, the outcome will be much worse than taking a few hours to recharge your mind and body. The to-do list comes after you take time for yourself so that you do not run into complete misery. No one is a joy to be around or a good friend when they are burnt out. 

Aside from all else, remember to be kind to one another this holiday season. You never know what your neighbor is going through this holiday. Everyone gets stressed, everyone burns out, and everyone deals with it differently. If you haven’t heard from a loved one in awhile, do not be afraid to be the first to reach out. Odds are, they probably want to talk but do not have the time in the day to take care of themselves. The holidays are meant to be a magical season surrounded by people you love, cherish, and make you smile. You need to have to do the same for them in return.

Happy Holidays.

Much love, 

Shaudeh