Much love, Shaudeh Farjami

Developing a mutual trust with your body is understanding that your body will signal the cues for what it needs to function at its highest potential. Food freedom is learning to eat with less judgement, and more love and intuition.

For those that were not aware, last week was national eating disorder awareness week. I stayed awfully quiet, off the grid in more ways than one. Amidst midterm season, I used the week as a time for self-reflection. Acknowledging the drastic changes in my food habits, my body, and my mindset.

Stop spending all day obsessing, cursing, perfecting your body like it’s all you have to offer to the world. Stop looking back at old photos of yourself in a smaller body and think that you’re “jealous”. Instead, remember what that version of yourself went through every single day. The constant internal battle, self-hate, and stress is not worth being “a little skinnier”. Life is too short to waste it all in a war with yourself. I spend a lot of time in my head, so it’s important to make it a nice place to be.

I find it easier to love my neighbor than love myself. I find it easier to care for my friends than care for myself. I find it easier to invest in someone else than in myself. All the same, I am slowly learning to treat my body like it belongs to someone I love.

Our generation makes it the norm to demonize food, diet, and hate our bodies. It’s mind boggling that it’s more common to hate your body than love your body in today’s day and age. Here’s the fact of the matter: if the definition of beautiful gets any thinner, no one will fit.

I would never want to buy jeans, because I always planned on slimming down. I’d panic when something “my size” wouldn’t fit. I’d fear trying on an outfit in the fitting room only to hate my reflection. There was so much negative self-talk. Work on falling in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much, but is still standing.

I’ve tried pairs of jeans that are all the same size. One has extra room on the waist, and one barely goes up my legs. Today, I can strongly affirm that that’s okay. In fact, that’s so normal.

I hate to break it to you, but how you look on the outside is the least interesting thing about you. Beauty is the way you carry yourself. It’s how you treat others. It’s the way you love. It’s self-acceptance. It’s the energy you radiate. Trust me, no one is as perfect as the illusion on their Instagram feed. Don’t let those spring break photos fool you. The only healthy, valuable comparison is you today versus you yesterday. Concentrate on that. It’s the happiest girls that have the most recognizable glow, no amount of highlighter can come close.

However, this is less about where I was. It is about where I am, and where I am going. Here’s what I learned, not only in this week of reflection, but over the last year of progress.

1. Girls who aspire to accomplish big things cannot let the small things shake them. Once I stopped allowing diet culture to consume my thoughts, there was so much more space in my head for meaningful goals and ambitions.

2. A diet doesn’t just refer to what you eat. It’s everything you consume. It’s what you watch, what you hear, and most importantly, the people who you choose to surround yourself with. Be intentional with your personal consumption socially, mentally, and physically. Fall in love with the person you are when you around those you love.

3. Bad body image days are commonplace. Accept the bloated mornings and be gentle with yourself. Self-talk matters, and it is more impactful than you realize. I promise the feeling will fade after a few days, it always does.

4. Wear the damn bikini. Post the pictures. You are your biggest critic. I am guilty of changing my outfit 14 times before agreeing to wear it, you can ask my roommates. I’m still working on this one, I’ll let you know when I get the hang of it.

5. Exercise is a celebration of the your strength and functionality. It is not a punishment for what you ate. My mind switched when I realized I deserve to enjoy food, I deserve to enjoy exercise. I deserve to live a life that doesn’t circulate around those two variables. Find a workout routine you enjoy, and stick to it. Over working your body will only make you resent exercise. Mostly importantly, that is not stable. Let your body and your mind find homeostasis.

Corepower has been my rock. 1 hour a day where I clear my mind of all the toxicity that college years bring. Yoga sculpt has taught me the proper value of consistency, perseverance, and physical strength. I am the strongest, most empowered version of myself. Find an activity that brings you inner strength and commit to it. Get this, I have even built new friendships and solid relationships by diving into corepower whole-heartedly. I look forward to my dirty chai dose on the walk home from sculpt with Ava on Wednesday mornings.

Mold your perception to view all things positively. See the good in all experiences. Optimism is not only a mindset, but an individual choice. Love yourself like you love those around you. Don’t allow your negative self-talk to hold you back from experiences that could create core memories.

This year I flipped a full 180. I have friends who support me in all my being, while also allowing me to soar as an independent when necessary. I’ve cleansed myself of people and thoughts that carried negative energy. I fuel my body without guilt and treat myself without reason. I am more comfortable in my own skin. I pick up the jeans that fit my body and move on, regardless of the size number. I am in an entirely different chapter than I was a year ago.

You are allowed to have a slow morning, eat a heavy meal, cry without an explanation, love who you want. Let go, make new friends. Fall in love with the healthiest version of you.

Much love,

Shaudeh Farjami