Much love, Shaudeh Farjami

Small, silent, accommodating. I used to think that staying as convenient as possible was the best way to avoid conflict. Neutral and consistent, I am a natural people pleaser.

The ropes of my internal safety net that I had mistook for a security mechanism, limiting me from new energy, new opportunities, and new experiences. Slowly tearing the brittle rope, I am learning to speak even if my voice shakes. Bold, firing, and unapologetic.

Restraining yourself to the safety net, otherwise known as settling, is taking the easy way out. Even though it might be consistent, you will never know what was truly in store for you unless you build the confidence to break the netting. Nothing beats the reward of a risk paying off. Take chances on people, places, and things that seem out of left field.

There is a difference between taking a risk and wishful thinking. In other words, only put effort into people that give the same effort back to you. Stop choosing what or whom is not choosing you back. If it is not mutual, why pursue it? Save your energy for someone who deserves it. Not someone who uses it up, drains your character.

Take a look around your our social sphere. How many people do you know personally that are settling? Likely, too many. Don’t settle for nice. Don’t settle for enough. Don’t settle for familiarity.

Do not chase people or ambitions. Do your thing and work hard. The right people who are worthy of a role in your life will find you, and will stay. Last week, at our kitchen high top table, I sought out advice from my roommate Ash— one of the most determined, balanced, and persistent people I know. Ash advised me to never go in search of a person. Live in the moment and follow life’s endeavors, and the right people, places, and things will fall into place on your path. Your future will find you eventually. Ride the wave and enjoy the ride. One day you will find someone that chooses you and continues to choose you every single day. When you do, you will be thankful that you stayed in the present, instead of dwelling on the past. If you are stuck in your old experiences and old mindset, you just might miss your best thing.

Slowly but surely, I’m understanding that life is better lived when you don’t read into it. When you don’t hyper-analyze. When you don’t try to force it. Time is fleeting. You are only in this era, in your early twenties, for so long.

The best things in life come unexpectedly, unknowingly.

In shifting my mindset, I’ve noticed a sky rocket in my drive, motivated to be more active and take care of my physical health. My friendships have strengthened immensely, adding depth to all my relationships. I have nurtured friendships that I am confident will last a lifetime. I have made more time for myself and fueling my independence. I have lived new memories with my roommates. I have lived in the moment, growing into the most confident version of myself yet.

Here’s to taking risks, staying present, and never settling.

Much love,

Shaudeh Farjami