Much love, Shaudeh Farjami

Following an outstretched bide in time, with an account dated back to the COVID-19 tunnel of September 2020, SZA fans are ripping past the tissue paper of an early Christmas present with the release of SOS, a prequel to her supernatural Ctrl album that provided a mystical new perspective for the R&B community in 2017.

Three primary characteristics surface when considering the stylings of feminine icon and musical role model, SZA: lyrical clapbacks, uncanny sarcasm, and witty references. With ease and bold demeanor, SZA references iconic films, artists and popular culture figures— Star Wars, Mohammad Ali, and Bjork just to name a few.

While retreating from deeper emotional connections, the closing tracks on SOS unveil that the powerful young woman may have been masking a more wholesome side all along.

Frankly, at first listen, I couldn’t relate. Perhaps it is because I am not at a place in my chapter where I am dealing with the drawbacks and aggression that comes along to closing a door to a relationship. The anger and blithely unhinged commentary on flamed relationships is in full-fire with “Kill Bill” and “Seek Destroy”. While the tunes were memorable and trending on my TikTok page, I had trouble putting my finger on a current and relatable thought.

Behind a given momentum of hostility, unbalanced and impulsive action is unguarded, susceptible vulnerability. SZA’s album symbolizes the rollercoaster of realizations, emotions, and unwitting initial thoughts that come with heart ache. Racing, speeding, and sometimes undergoing exhaustive loops— when you allow yourself to fall in head first, you put your heart in jeopardy of going through the ringer. SOS depicts the downfall of the risk when granting your heart in the hands of another.

How to cope? SZA, I have been there. First instinct is to absolutely torpedo their name. The hate towards that individual is what provides your fuel to keep hauling forward. “I might kill my ex / not the best idea,” along with “Seek and destroy, oh missiles deployed.” As a twenty-year-old girl attending college in Southern California, I am definitely guilty of similar commentary on a bi-weekly basis after a weekend of events. Like SZA’s clap backs, it is well-deserved commentary that I stand by; the subjects deserve the heat. SZA’s words remind me of your typical college “pow-wow”, demolishing the name of whoever wronged your friend that Friday night.

The heated statements only serve as a temporary veil for true vulnerability, defenselessness, and fragility. SZA’s heart-wrenching ballad, “Nobody Gets Me”, encompasses the turmoil best. “How am I supposed to tell you? / I don’t what to see you with anyone but me? / Nobody gets me like you.”

The flaming, the boiling, the blithering. It is all temporary. Eventually reaching a simmer.

A broken heart can only be hidden for so long, until honest emotion floats ashore. It is just the matter of time until you have no choice but to come to terms with your honest feelings. You gave your heart away, you took the leap, and hit rock bottom. SZA’s “Special” alludes to the feeling of unworthiness that comes along with granting your heart to a loser, putting effort into a person who did not even come close to reciproacting the same effort. Utmost stupidity and foolishness, the only way to describe the self-reflection.

Do not try to control the uncontrollable. As the 2017 Ctrl generation echoed, Keep Calm and Carry On.

SZA’s SOS underlines that impulsive actions and aggressions are normal in dealing with heartbreak and adversity. Behind frustration is a vulnerable portrait. Do not be hard on yourself. Do not beat yourself while you’re down. Truth of the matter is the person the shattered your heart was not worth your love, grace, and compassion to begin with. Leave that individual in 2022. Here’s to the independence, new beginnings, and release of tension that 2023 will bring.

Much love,

Shaudeh Farjami