Much love, Shaudeh Farjami

I just like having a plan. That’s what I liked to call it. I have never been one to like surprises or choose to play a weekend by ear. I like fulfilled expectation and validation. Being a “planner” fills that void.

The best relationships, the best nights, and the best conversations in 2022 occurred unexpectedly. When you don’t see it coming, it packs a punch. Spontaneity is what makes my world spin, my mind blow, and my universe turn upside down. It is the people that surface from crevices that change my trajectory— altered my brain chemistry or whatever phrase you would like to call it.

Happenstance. Being at the right place, at the right time. That is how a person can make your whole night. For me, it was Ella calling at 4:50 proposing to be glammed out in 20 minutes for a sushi date at L.A. Live on Tuesday night. It is the moments when my planner persona is caught off guard that I treasure the most; memories I remember the most vividly. In other words, it is the times where I do not have the opportunity to overthink or pre-design that I truly enjoy myself. It is the friends that push me to loosen up that help me grow as an individual. I end up the happiest when I let the opportunity come to me, instead of chasing it desperately… leave the scheming behind. That is the fact of the matter. You know you did something right where you can sit back, reflect, and have nothing to say except: Wow, that made my week.

A little louder for my fellow type A, needs structure, plans outfits three days ahead, must have a plan 25/8 friends. Give yourself a break, seriously. Let relationships and friendships run their course, don’t force someone to stick around. A spark is either there, or it isn’t. If it’s not there, wake up. If it is, do whatever it takes to protect ones you love. What flows, flows. What crashes, crashes. I only have space and energy for things that are meant for me. Pro tip: You can’t force together pieces that do not exist.

The best thing you can do is not think, not stress, not obsess.

You will be way more content with the way experiences pan out when there is no expectation set. Despite common assumption, running through a hypothetical situation in your head will not prepare you for anything. Fantasizing and playing out your dream storyline does not manifest it. Let it roll on its own. You will be surprised by who you will meet, where you will find yourself, and the lessons you will learn. The best times are the ones I was hesitant about at first, but ended up surprising me with a great story to look back on.

Hot take: I hate when people say things like making plans just leads to disappointment if someone cancels. People will just let you down. There is a difference between making effort and initiating plans, and over compensating. You need a median to sustain friendships.

My best advice to loosen up and go with a flow? Fall forward. Take every opportunity to learn about yourself and how you navigate adversities in situations. Be open to making mistakes.

Right now, I am living my best life. I am focused on myself. I am surrounded by people who make me feel included, accepted, and loved. I am falling in love with who I am and who I am becoming. I am eager, eager to know where I am going next and what is ahead. My goals are endless, dreams are limitless, and ambitions are beyond bounds. I find new reasons to love everything in the single day that passes. I am understanding how and when to take risks. Each opportunity that comes my way, I am testing the waters and stepping outside my comfort zone.

See my train of thought? I am prioritizing chasing people, places, and passions that encourage me to reach the heights and infinitely passion me. I am undertaking opportunities that fuel my soul. To be frank, I could care less about what anyone else is doing. I could care less about what anyone else thinks… that one’s a stretch but we are trying to get there soon. My point is, I am filling my cup with peace. Light, love, and encouragement. I am living my best, best life.

Much love,

Shaudeh Farjami